Worst Fictional Representations Awards!

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

Here's a thread I have just been dying to start.

To start off, the Worst Piece of Fiction Ever Written Award goes to Carolly Erikson for her absolutely abysmal The Hidden Diary of Marie Antoinette. She has all the best cliches and all the proof of having done absolutely zero historical research, including:
-a literally green Robespierre as the Source of All Evil, who has smallpox scars, bites his nails so obsessively he can't speak, is quite literally insane with paranoia and who actually  tries to straggle the Sweet, Virtuous Marie Anotoinette
-no other revolutionaries AT ALL! ROBESPIERRE SEEMS TO HAVE KILLED THEM ALL.
-the most unintentionally unsympathetic Antoinette I have ever read. She is a stupid, silly, frivolous twit and I want to hit her over the head with a shovel repeatedly.
-completely made-up events taking place instead of actual historical events!
-a Du Barry who has absolutely no redeeming characteristics at all. She's not even pretty. Why does the king sleep with her? No one knows, not even the freaking king.

And the Worst Representation of Louis Saint-Just Award goes to Rose of Versailles. This anime made Saint-Just a blood-thirsty terrorist who hides underneath the pews in churches, goes out wearing a mask to shoot at Spanish ambassadors, and stabs people in moving carraiges just for the fun of it. however, Saint-Just also managed to outrun a four-horse carriage, too, so that was pretty impressive.

In a close second is that crappy film noire movie I couldn't finish called The Black Book, where Saint-Just acutally KICKS A KITTEN.

The Weirdest Representation of Robespierre Award goes to another anime, Chevalier D'Eon. For no reason I can make out, Robespierre is one of the head members of a secret society trying to overthrow the king and enslave France by creating an army of mercury-filled zombies controlled by the Psalms. He is also blond and wigless.

Then I must go onto the Worst Representation of the Storming of the Bastille. This award goes to the recent Marie Antoinette film with Kirsten Dunst. She finds out while having a tea party. It is never mentioned again. No one knows it happened. No one appears to know what it is.

I think I can give the Most Cliche Representation of Robespierre to the Baroness Orczy, however, since she decided that Robespierre was insane, paranoid, and entirely dependant on the advice of some made-up spiritual medium. Her Robespierre also appears to be a literally green-skinned, "pussy-footing tyrant" who obsessively buffs his nails during meetings of the National Assembly, wishes that all of France had but one head so that he could cut it off easier, appears to be the Source of All Evil mixed with Satan Himself, and stores all important papers in his snuffbox.

The Least Sympathic Representation of the Duplays Award goes to Hilary Mantal for A Place of Greater Safety, where the Duplay girls try to seduce both Robespierre and Desmoulins, and where one of them lies that Danton has raped her. No one know why she does this. Duplay, pere, also appears to have wanted to collect Robespierre and seems to have the view of a breeder with expensive horse to show off when it comes to Robespierre.

The Strangest Representation of David Award goes to the 1980s film, Danton, where David doesn't allow his models to get dressed once he's done with them and redoes all of the work done by his apprentances out of an apparently supressed view of them all as inferior beings.

ETA: I can't believe I forgot Dickens! The Largest Number of Historical Inaccuracies Award (credit to sunliner) goes to Charles Dickens's A Tale of Two Cities. I think he was the one who started up the still pervasive rumor that the French governement was excuting about 50-70 people a day, just because they could. I'm sorry. Even the brilliance of Sydney Carton can't make up for all the crap he included.

Do you think the awards ought to go to other people? Have different awards yourself? Agree and want to rant about the wasted hours of your life reading crappy novels? Drop a comment!

Comments

[sunliner.livejournal.com]

hollaback at mantel's award. wtf was that rape bit? also, i bought the hidden diary of marie antoinette for $6, even though i knew it was really bad just from having read five pages at the library.
much as i love charles dickens, i think a tale of two cities ought to receive some award for historical inaccuracies...

[sunliner.livejournal.com]

and now that you've added that, i gotta say that i love me some sydney.

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

Yup, all credit to you! Sydney= <33333333333

However... just no, Dickens.

[gogo-sakura.livejournal.com]

I loves me some Sydney, too. He made my heart go "Yay!".

[gogo-sakura.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, Le Chevalier D'eon was pretty interesting, wasn't it? I have yet to finish the series, but, ah, interesting plot, I must say.

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

I haven't finished it either. I want to, but, alas, RL keps getting in the wya.

[rithrin.livejournal.com]

Just watch it to the end ;) It almost makes sense eventually, being liberally fictious anyhow. The blonde Robespierre is meant to make people confused.

[maelicia.livejournal.com]

Maelicia's Verdict: Those people are fucking insane, but oh god, how they'd amuse me if I didn't take it so personal. Also, if "serious" historians weren't actually using them as unlisted source in their bibliography. -_-

I see only three things to explain it:

- some of them have drank lead in their water;
- radioactivity is really dangerous for mankind;
- fast food -- it must be fast food.

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

XDDDDD

"radioactivity is really dangerous for mankind".

You win a cyber guillotine for that, to use on the closet monarchists who won these awards.

[estellacat.livejournal.com]

I definitely agree with the first one--I only read the part that had Robespierre in it, but I'm sure the rest can't be any better. (Honestly, it doesn't just suffice to be reactionary to write such drivel--it also takes being tasteless and, frankly, insane.)

I'm sure I've seen worse representations of Saint-Just somewhere around, though I can't remember off the top of my head. Still, those are up there. I would also add that he has it pretty bad in A Place of Greater Safety and in Jacobin's Daughter. (Both cases, I must admit, strike me as rather odd. Which is to say, I don't mind books like The Gods Are Thirsty, where *Desmoulins* doesn't like Saint-Just, when but Robespierre and Élisabeth Duplay don't, all I can think is: WTF.)

I think I've seen weirder portrayals of Robespierre as well, though it's possible I'm thinking of fanfiction. -__-; In any case, Helma De Bois's "The Incorruptible" is almost as strange.

A close second to your "Worst Representation of the Storming of the Bastille" would have to be the one in the live-action movie of Rose of Versailles (which is a terrible film in any case). It's rather pathetic: a small handful of people manage to capture the Bastille in about five seconds.

I think many fictional representations tie for "Most Cliché Robespierre." I would add "Ridiculous Dictator" to that list, certainly.

"The Least Sympathetic Portrayal of the Duplays" is definitely A Place of Greater Safety, and that's saying something considering there's a dantoniste play that makes Éléonore personally responsible for Lucile Desmoulins's death. >__>

David is pretty up there on the strange-meter in The Eight as well. But it's odd: there are so few novels/films/etc. that mention David at all, let alone keep him in view long enough for him really to be considered a character.

I think there are probably less accurate representations of the Revolution than A Tale of Two Cities (La Terreur sans la Vertu comes to mind), but none that have more influence, none that are considered "classics" the way anything by Dickens is. So for that, if for nothing else, (though it is extremely inaccurate) I would agree with you that A Tale of Two Cities deserves the award.

Say, someone ought to follow up with a list of the best fictional representations. It would be a nice change. :D

[estellacat.livejournal.com]

I didn't think to mention this until just know, but do note who out of the twelve "worst representations" in my comment, only two are in French.

[estellacat.livejournal.com]

Though it occurs to me that Pauvre Bitos is also pretty bad, even if it is more about the 1950s than the 1790s. -__-;

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

There's a play where Elenore is personally responsible for Lucile Desmouline's death? O.o;;;;;;;;;;;

I must use a freaked-out chibi Robespierre in response.

[estellacat.livejournal.com]

There is, I'm sad to report. On the premise that Robespierre was supposedly once in love with Lucile and Éléonore was jealous. >__>

[cat-empress.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on the ones I've seen/read. This isn't many, since I've only recently become interested in the Revolution, and I'm in Australia, and most of them aren't available here.

Out of the ones I do know, I have to say that, being a Camille fan, I rather liked A Place of Greater Safety, but since I read it I've learn a lot more about the Revolution, and seriously, what she did to the Duplays? Completely unnecessary. On the other hand, considering that it was from Camille's point of view, making Saint-Just look bad could be seen as a logical thing to do, but she still went a bit far, especially since he's only mentioned about four times. It's a pretty big book.

I always find it strange when people mention Le Chevalier d'Eon, in terms of its Revolutionary inaccuracies, because they aren't the only ones. D'Eon lived in the middle of the 18th century, not the end, and even if he was alive at the time of the Revolution, he was living in England, as a woman.

[sunliner.livejournal.com]

i really liked a place of greater safety and i like camille pretty well (based on what i know of him, which is admittedly very little), yet somehow in the end i ended up hating his character. same with robespierre, sort of; i thought his lambiness made him really unsympathetic...though i don't know how much that's me and how much that's her representation of him.

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

I think it's the sex scene honestly. I love Robespierre but that sex scene was so terribly uncomfortable and I lost some of my respect for Robespierre as a character when I read it.

[rithrin.livejournal.com]

I would just suggest people who have mentioned Chevalier D'Eon watch the series to the end. The Robespierre mentioned is not the one you think.... and there is even almost an explanation to the rest of D'Eon de Beaumont's life. It's fiction, after all. And there even maybe is a point in why and how people all seem to be too young or too old for the represented era.
BTW, D'Eon de Beaumont was alive and kicking during the French Revolution, in England though, and he also saw Napoleon rise to power.

[cat-empress.livejournal.com]

I must have been thinking of another one then. Or maybe he lived an extra long time.

[rithrin.livejournal.com]

He lived from 1728 to 1810. Quite a life. I admit I had to pop over to Wikipedia to check.

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

Right! I shall get around to finishing the series once the semester ends. ^^

[rithrin.livejournal.com]

Good luck! ^^ .. I mean, it might be likable! well... I should watch it over Christmas, I should.

[racaille.livejournal.com]

I discovered Baroness Orczy's "work" through a RPG book about the Scarlet Pimpernel. As the average French citizen, I was taught only about the positive aspects of the French revolution as a kid, but I did get more objective history lessons in high school. So when reading this book, I was wondering what was wrong with this woman. I then realized that she wasn't alone in portraying all revolutionaries are some sort of Nazis or lunatics, that it was quite fashionable in the English-speaking world.

[maelicia.livejournal.com]

Living in Québec and therefore being raised in a francophone-centred society, I was also quite confused to discover the Anglo-Saxons seem to have developped a big obsession with the "Evil" French Revolution, systematic references to it and all. Because it seems it's part of their actual popular culture.

When you stop five seconds and think about it thoroughly (which I often forget to do), it borders on the ridiculous.

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

I think it must be a relic of old France/ England tensions. I can't think of any other reason why people would randomly pick an admirable historical event and turn it into this Satanic spiral of terror.

Oh noes! Equality and democracy! >:0 We cannot stand for that!

[kurotoshi.livejournal.com]

Haha!! This is a fantastic idea! Shit - I should do this for Marat but the list would NEVER end -_-;;

[sunliner.livejournal.com]

omg, poor marat. he was the crazy man of the revolution but i love him anyway and he really gets a bad rap. i thought hilary mantel was pretty good with him though.

[kurotoshi.livejournal.com]

he was the crazy man of the revolution

he wasn't crazy, he had control of all his faculties he just exagerated everything and was a very theatrical person, but I get your point

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

Do Marat! I haven't read much about him. Generally people just go, "Oh yeah, and then there was this ugly guy who died in a tub, but you can forget about him." It's rather infuriating.

[kurotoshi.livejournal.com]

I agree completly! Actually, I planned on doing a post entirely on him just to destroy all the misconceptions on him. I have more or less been exclusively studying him for about 4 years now, so I've got lots of info! :) But my schedual just needs to clear up right now ^^;

(but if you have any questions on him, feel free to ask anytime! :))

[bib-specialist.livejournal.com]

If Dickens got most of his history for that book from Carlyle, wouldn't Carlyle be responsible for a lot of the inaccuracies?

[toi-marguerite.livejournal.com]

True, but more suffering high schoolers are forced to read Dickens and thus his influence is more wide- reaching.

[lucilla-1789.livejournal.com]

Worst account of French Revolution & What were you on when you wrote this shit? Award goes to Bulwer- Lytton and his esoteric historical novel "Zanoni"

The book was such a bore that I couldn't read it all. This goes in the same gategory as Gaimans Thermidor. Supernatural forces saved the world from evil Jacobines.

The Theosophical Society of Finland used to sell his book as non-fiction and the translator's footnotes are the most hilarious ever. He is actually believing the book to be true story!

[sunliner.livejournal.com]

rofl, did bulwer-lytton ever write anything good?

[morgan-wang.livejournal.com]

There actully is an award each year, I think its called the Bulwer-Lytton award for the worst possible opening sentence for a book. People actully send in many entries in an attempt to win.

[citoyenneclark.livejournal.com]

Are there used copies of the theosophical society of finland's translation online? That actually sounds amazingly funny, even though I don't read finnish...

[lucilla-1789.livejournal.com]

“It was a dark and stormy night"